The real Harry Potter [Edited Lyrics]
by Jade Straight
Summary: Spoof of 'The real Slim Shady' Reposting. Go away, all you people who saw my orignal and decided they wanted a customized one!


_The Real Harry Potter__ [Edited Lyrics]_

May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention please?  
Will the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
I repeat, will the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like ya never seen a scar before  
Jaws all on the floor like Voldemort just burst in the door  
And started torturing Dumbledore worse than before  
He first was disarmed thrown across the floor (Dumbledore's scream)  
It's the return of the...  
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,  
he just didn't say what I think he did, did he?"  
And Dumbledore said...  
Nothing you idiots! Dumbledore's dead, he's locked in my basement!  
(Ha-ha!)  
"Women love Potter  
Chicka chicka chicka Harry Potter, I'm sick of him  
Look at him, walking around abusing poor Voldemort  
Flipping at you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though"  
Yeah, I probably got a couple of plugs up in my head loose  
But no worse than what's going on in Snape's potions class  
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't  
But it's cool for Draco Malfoy to be a dead moose  
"My scar is on your lips, my scar is on your lips"  
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss  
And that's the message that I deliver to little kids  
And expect them not to know what a dementor is  
Of course they gonna know what Wormtail is  
By the time they hit fourth year  
They got the Daily Prophet don't they?  
"We ain't nothing but neazles"  
Well, some of us nifflers  
Who cut other people open like the Giant Squid  
But if we can open up dead animals and antelopes  
Then there's no reason that Hermione and Draco can't elope  
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote  
Ginny wave your HP flag, sing the chorus and it goes

I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter  
All you other Harry Potters are just imitating  
So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter  
All you other Harry Potters are just imitating  
So won't the real Harry Pottery please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up

Mad-eye don't gotta flirt in office to get a job  
Well I do so "rag him and rag you too!"  
You think I care about a 'Witch Weekly most charming smile award'?  
Half of you critics can't even stomach me let alone stand me  
"But Harry, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"  
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here  
So you can sit me here next to the Weird sisters?  
Rats, Celestina Warbeck better switch me chairs  
So I can sit next to Viktor Krum and Fluer Delacour  
And hear them argue over who she kissed first  
You little villian, put me on blast on WWN  
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Fry, hee-hee"  
I should download an audio on MP3 and show the whole world  
how you gave Potter -(Dumbledore's scream)  
I'm sick of you little wizards and witches  
All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you  
And there's a million of us just like me  
Who yell like me; who just don't give a darn like me  
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me  
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter  
All you other Harry Potters are just imitating  
So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter  
All you other Harry Potters are just imitating  
So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up

I'm like a head trip to listen to cuz I'm only giving you  
Things you joke about with your friends inside your Common room  
The only difference is I got the guts to say it  
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or bertie botts every flavour beans coated at all  
I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it  
I just said it better than 90 percent of you warlocks out there  
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Chocolate Frogs  
It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 21  
I'll be the only person in St. Mungo's flirting  
smiling at nurses when I'm drinking Hagrid's mead  
And I'm jerkin' but this whole tankard of butterbeer isn't working  
And every single person is a Harry Potter lurking  
He could be working at The Three broomsticks spitting on your gillywater  
Or in the quidditch pitch, circling, screaming "I don't care!"  
With his windows down and too bad they got none  
So, will the real Potter please stand up?  
And put one of those wands in your hand up?  
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control  
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter  
All you other Harry Potters are just imitating  
So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter  
All you other Harry Potters are just imitating  
So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up  
I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter  
All you other Harry Potters are just imitating  
So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter  
All you other Harry Potters are just imitating  
So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
Please stand up, please stand up

Ha ha  
Guess there's a Harry Potter in all of us  
Sod it, let's all stand up

a/n: Someone shoot me, please.


End file.
